Human Voices Wake Us

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted.  The truth is, I’m not sure what I want to write about.  That, and I have 3 children to take care of and work and working on my doctorate.  I’m trying to figure out how I want to use this space- how it will best benefit me and anyone who might read it.  Until then, I will leave it at this.

My satellite is out.  So last night I had to catch shows I normally DVR in “real time.”  It killed me.  I had to sit through every commercial.  I tried to find things to do: I grabbed a book, I found a crossword puzzle.  As I was agonizing waiting for the deodorant/car/coffee ad (pick one- I didn’t pay attention) to be over, I was upset at how I was a slave to the timeslot.  I couldn’t choose when to watch these shows.  What if I’d rather be on the computer or playing with my kid? (The former being more likely.)  Then I realized it wasn’t too long ago (before DVR) that I scheduled around the TV shows I liked to watch.  I made sure I was in front of the TV at 8:00 on Thursdays to catch ER.  I thought about what a waste that was to be a slave to a TV timeslot and not have the ability to pick when to watch – when was convenient for me. 

The only thing that’s really scheduled in my life has to so with school-related activities or sports: football, soccer, PTA meetings, etc.  Oh, and church (it’s reliably always on Sunday mornings.)  I’m even in online classes where I get to pick when to work on the assignments, with a deadline, of course.  Everything’s on my time, when I want to do it.

Interestingly enough, I’m also reading a great book, The Year of Living Biblically, about a man who tries to obey every Biblical law.  Talk about being a slave to time.  He has to do certain things in the morning, certain things the first of every month, etc. 

Then I realized that maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all to have something that requires your attention at a certain time, especially God-related things. I choose when to pray, for example, but maybe I should have a dedicated time slot each day to do so – a time I choose not to let my selfish desires take over, a time I give up on my plans and do something scheduled, something important.  Other things in life could fall in this category: play time with my kids, date night with my husband, bubble baths (which could actually fall in both previous categories).

Maybe in this unstructured, free-for-all world we live in we need timeslots.  I love my freedom, but sometimes I need to be reminded that it’s not all about me.

Just recently, I’ve realized I’m old.  You know, the teenager looking at someone 37 as old kind of old.  My support:

1.        I sleep for exactly 7 ½ hours and wake up without an alarm clock.  I distinctly remember asking my mother why she didn’t sleep in on Saturday mornings and being told that she just wakes up.  I’ve now reached that point in my life.  I realize it’s only down that road that I’m eating supper at 5:00, going to bed before 8:00 and waking up at 4:30.

2.       My knee hurts walking up the stairs. 

3.       I don’t understand why girls wear tank tops with their bra straps showing and skin-tight “shorts” that I used to call “bloomers.”  Now when I was a teen we were really styling with shoulder pads, hair to match the width of said shoulder pads and rolled-up jeans.  We didn’t flaunt our goods.  We hid them tastefully in shirts 3 sizes too big.  (I think that I said “styling” automatically reinforces the title of this blog).

4.       I can’t eat whatever I want.  What happened to the good old days when I ate McDonald’s everyday for lunch and never gained an ounce?

5.       I actually say “I’m getting old.”

6.       My 43-year old husband says he’s married to a thirty-something like it’s a prize.  And he’s in his forties!   I’m married to someone in his almost mid-forties.  Nuff said.

7.       One of my children is a teenager.  My life is over.

I was once carefree. The feeling comes back to me when I listen to Bon Jovi or Whitesnake or Def Leppard, or New Order.  I don’t feel so young listening to Lil’Wayne or Lil’ Kim or anyone else with “Lil’” in their name.  (not that I actually listen to them).  So that makes number

8.        I like music from when I was in high school better than music today.  Nostalgia=old.

9.        My eyes hurt from staring at the computer too long.

Now I need my glasses.   Boy, I’m getting………..

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